


One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest: Part 1

by LonelyAquarian



Series: One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest [1]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Blind Date, M/M, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyAquarian/pseuds/LonelyAquarian
Summary: Picture It: 4 Friends Are Living Together In A House In Florida. This Is What Happens When MJ Meddles In Peter's Love Life.





	1. MJ's Dilemma

**Picture It...**

"You know, Gwen, I'm really enjoying this." Eddie tells Gwen, both sitting at the table in the kitchen. "You and I, having a quiet cup of coffee together, away from the others." He tells her before taking another sip of his coffee.

"Me, too, Eddie, because you know-"

"I said quiet!" Snaps Eddie and Gwen instantly shuts up.

"Guys, you will never believe what happened to me at the supermarket yesterday!" Mary Jane says, running into the kitchen.

"Um, you were in a real hurry and you needed to go through the express lane, but you had 25 items, so you went through three times. Once with ten items, once with nine items, and once with another six items." Gwen replies stupidly.

"What the hell? Who the fuck does that, Gwen?" Asks MJ.

"What kind of a moron would do that? Better yet, who has the time to do all that?" Eddie asks, and Gwen looks around.

"Anyway, I ran into this man at the produce counter, and he asked me to play tennis with him tonight, but I have major problem. I forgot that my dearest and nearest relative, is flying in at 7:00. This is such a dilemma! Whatever am I gonna do?"

"MJ, it doesn't sound like a dilemma at all."

"You know, for the first time in a long time Gwen, you're right. Family you can see any time, but a one-night stand- with some sexy, role play story time session- only happens one night. Now I have to get me somebody to dump my cousin Harry on. If I could only find me an- " Suddenly MJ stops and looks at Gwen drinking her coffee. "Gwen, sweetheart, what are you doing tonight?"

"MJ, I can't believe you just asked me that. Where the hell do you get your nerve?" She asks MJ before grabbing her cup of coffee, leaving the kitchen.

"Ironically, from my cousin, Harry. He's really a person who grows on you." She says to no one in particular. "Eddie, my friend, would you mind going out with-?"

"Me? You're actually coming to me? A cute, caring, sassy man, who is a fourth of this family? To me, MJ, family is everything. There is nothing higher than family, even though we almost lack any kind of blood relation. Family, I will always, without exception, stand up for."

"But, Ed, I'm desperate here! And like you, he's a switch hitter!"

"Con Peter into it." He tells her, leaving the kitchen.

"Now there's an idea I should've thought of!" She tells herself. "Conning Peter is a thought, but I don't know if I have it in me to do all the persuading, all the convincing, and-" She swings the kitchen door open and runs into Peter. "Oh, my God, is that our one and only Peter Parker? Or Mister Chad Michael Murray emerging from his morning toilette?" MJ playfully asks Peter. At this point, Peter is irritated because he is being bugged by his best friend and he isn't a morning person.

"It's Chad with a message from Peter. Whatever the favor is, fuck it. I need some coffee, ASAP." He says, entering the kitchen, walking towards the coffee maker.

"Peter Parker, have I got a man for you."

"No, thanks. Had one." He deadpans.

"Come on, please? It's my favorite cousin, Harry. He's perfect. All man, all heart, all yours." She tells him.

"Look, MJ, forget it. It's not gonna work out. I mean, he's a little bit too New York for me, and I'm a little bit too smart for this."

"Ugh, you and your book smarts. You've got him all wrong. If we weren't related, I would say that he's a man of wealth and high taste."

"Oh, yes." Peter replies sarcastically. "I'm sure he cusses out on people when they do something wrong or he takes a piss on the subway system while ridding in it." Pouring coffee into a cup.

"Oh, Peter, now please. Now, I've told him all about you. Based on the information I told him about you, it seems like he's dying to meet you." MJ tells him as the leave the kitchen.

"Oh, right." Peter replies sassily. "He's dying to meet a gay man he doesn't even know. If you ask me, MJ, this favorite cousin of yours, is nothing but lonely desperate, pathetic, and lonely." He says, sitting in one of the chairs in the living room.

"Right." Eddie says.

"Hey, Peter, you two might just hit it off!" Gwen says with a smile on her face.

"Cousin Harry is nothing of the sort. Pete, he is so excited about this date because I gave him a full description of you. And like I told you, it seems like he's dying to meet you." MJ tells him. She sees that he is actually considering this blind date.

"Well, I can understand that. People like me don't come around to often. I mean, men like me don't grow on trees." Peter says, longing for a relationship that'll last forever.

"That's too bad. I mean, we could use the shade!" Eddie says. MJ and Gwen start laughing while Peter looks at them disdainfully. _'It is not my fault you're all barely 5'5 and I'm 5'10 and a half.'_ He thinks to himself.

"Oh, Peter, please? It's only one night. Please? Pretty please? With a McDreamy on top who'll fill you up with 6 inches of his hard, thick, leaking-"

Peter sighs. "Eddie, do you mind if we move Scrabble to Sunday?"

"I'll live." He tells Peter, sending a quick text to someone.

"Eddie, there's no need to be sarcastic."

"No, I mean it. I'm finally going to go out and live! Pete, I love you bro, but you're fucking boring, man." He tells Peter getting up from the couch, retreating to his bedroom. Peter feels and looks very annoyed.


	2. The Blind Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Awkward Date With Surprising End Results..............

**8:15 PM At Don's Crab House.....**

 

"So.....You're a Chemistry teacher?" Harry asks.

"Oh. Yes, yes, I am. I also teach English classes online." Peter tells him before he takes a sip of his beer.

 

**Twenty Two Minutes Later**

 

Peter clears his throat, catching Harry's attention. "You, uh, own Oscorp." 

"Um, yeah. Yep, I do." Harry replies uncomfortably.  "So....Would you like more beer? I think you're almost out." He tells Peter, tapping on his beer mug.

Peter looks down at his mug. _'Damn. He's right. I didn't even notice that I've been drinking this beer so fast.'_ He thinks. "Oh, no, thanks. I'm fine." He responds to Harry.

"Cool."

"What am I saying?" He asks himself out loud, shaking his head. This captures Harry's attention. "I am not fine. Look, Harry, this isn't your fault at all. Although I find you highly attractive, I do not go out on blind dates. I mean, this is as silly as I have felt in a long, long time." Peter says. The waiter at the restaurant put on a bib around Peter's neck.

"Until now." Peter says, earning a chuckle from Harry.

"Wait till he brings the pants." Harry says, the same time another waiter puts a bib around Harry's neck.

"You're joking." Peter says.

"Somebody's got to." Harry says while he shrugs.

"Look, Harry, can I be 100% frank with you?"

"We're both adults. I can handle it."

"Now, look, I-I only came as a favor to MJ. When she told me how badly you were dying to meet me-"

"Wait a minute. Mary Jane told you I was dying to meet you? That lying bitch!" Harry says in disbelief. "The only reason I showed up here is because she told me you were a lonely, single man, who was dying to meet me."

"She didn't!" Peter exclaims.

"Yes, she did." Harry tells him. "So, what do you think this means?" 

"Well, let me tell you what it means. I think it means that she is shacked up in some cheap motel with a-" Peter starts off angrily, but Harry only smiles and Peter notices. "I mean, she has a date." Peter tells him, embarrassed at his outburst, however, Harry laughs hysterically. "Oh, Harry, what a relief! What a relief this is. So, you didn't even want to go out with me?"

"Hell, no. Not a chance!" Harry snorts and Peter laughs. "And you never wanted to go out with me?"

"Come on, get serious!" Peter says with a smile on his face and Harry laughs. 

"You realize, of course, that we can't let Mary Jane get away with this right?" Harry states.

"Ah, yes. She must definitely be punished." Peter says.

"Oh, no argument here." Harry concurs.

"Well......what do you have in mind Harry?"

"Well, she jerked us around." Harry says thoughtfully. "Here's a solution! Let's jerk her right back!" He says excitedly.

"Awesome!" Peter says evilly.

"I got it! Why don't we make her think that you and I are gonna get married?" Harry says happily. Peter takes a minute to think about this.

"Married? You and I?" Peter asked in disbelief. "I have to admit, there's a certain genius to it. I fucking love this plan already!"

"Are you kidding? A Floridian, living in the Osborn Mansion?" Harry smirks.

"But wait a minute. How did you know that I was a native of Florida?"

"Oh, that's how Janie refers to you in her letters." Harry replies nonchalantly.

"Janie, huh?" He says. "Yes, she must be punished.”

"Well, Pete, I believe this is the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship." Harry says, lifting his mug.

"To revenge!" Peter says, clinking their mugs together. A waiter dumps a small bucket of cooked crabs and lobster on their table. "Oh, look at this one." He shows Harry a crab. "Scrunched-up little frown. Kind of reminds me of MJ after she comes home from a bad date." He takes his mallet and hits the crab. Harry smiles at the sight.

 _'Yup this will definitely be a beautiful friendship.'_ He thinks to himself.


	3. The Payback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter And Harry Put Their Plan In Motion, Much To MJ's Dismay.

**The Following Morning**

 

_ ♪ Good Morning, Good Morning! _ __  
We danced all night through  
Good Morning, Good Morning, To you!♪    Peter sings loudly from the hallway, dancing from his bedroom to the living room.

"Sounds like someone had a good time last night, because he's singing on key." Eddie says.

"Good morning!" Peter sings to his roommates happily.

"Good morning, Pete. How did the date go last night?" MJ asks setting her cup on the coffee table .

"Did you have a good time?" Gwen asks.

"Spill it, Parker. You look like you're about to burst!" Eddie teases.

"Oh, _Janie_ , I can't thank you enough. I had a fantastic time." Peter tells her. MJ's face flushes red. She's embarrassed. _'Checkmate!'_ Peter thinks to himself.

"Janie?" The other two asks in disbelief.

"Well, now, didn't I tell you? Go on now. Don't leave anything out." MJ says hurriedly, ignoring both Eddie and Gwen.

"Well, he was so thoughtful and considerate, affectionate...." Peter starts, as if he's fallen in love with Harry.

"With whom?" MJ asks stupidly. Peter looks at her for a moment, as if he wants to whack her in the head with her own newspaper, mainly because MJ finally manage to shock him with a dumb question.

"With me!" He replies impatiently. "No, I had the time of my life last night. And even if he never calls again, at least we'll always have Don's Crab House, and the midnight stroll at the beach." He says fondly. Suddenly the doorbell rings, and MJ walks towards the door to open it.

"Amazing. My brother Flash had with his girl Betty, had Paris. My best friend/cousin has crabs." Eddie remarks and Peter throws a dirty at Eddie and MJ opens the front door.

"Oh, peeps, would you look at what my cousin has brought his sexy cousin? He's brought me some-" Harry bypasses MJ and walks directly towards Peter. MJ is shocked at Harry's action.

"Petey, I didn't mean to intrude without calling, but I didn't sleep at all last night because I was thinking about you." Harry tells him, caressing Peter's left cheek, handing him a bouquet of beautiful flowers.

"Oh, don't worry about it. There's no intrusion at all. Actually, I was afraid that I'd never see you again." A blushing Peter tells him.

"Never see me again? Petey, I'd buy a julep for the ghost of Michael Jackson before I'd let that happen."

"Oh, I was hoping you'd say that." Peter tells him.

"Peter, Peter, I know this sounds impetuous, but um.. I-I-I know we just met, b-but I'm at that stage in m-my life where I d-do-don't afford t-t-to waste time." Harry barely gets out before getting down on one knee pulling a box out of his pocket. "Pete, I love you and I want to know." He says, opening the box. "Will ya, Will ya-"

"Oh my God! Oh, this is so fucking great! I think he's gonna ask him out again!" Gwen says excitedly. "I can't wait to plan!"

Harry and Peter both look at her, before they look back at each other, reading each other's minds and facial expression.

 _'Man I can't believe she’s so-'_ Harry thinks.

 _'Stupid?'_ Peter thinks and Harry nods his head.

"P-Pete?" Harry stutters.

"Yes, my love?"

"Peter Benjamin Parker, will you make me the happiest man on Earth, by marrying me?" He says, making sure he's breaking his voice on purpose. MJ rapidly shakes her head in disbelief while the other two are visibly shocked.

"Oh, Har-bear! Oh, yes." He says, helping Harry to his feet so that he can kiss him senselessly.

"Oh! No, no, no! HELL NO!" MJ exclaims, while Eddie and Gwen are still in total shock.

"Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Peter tells MJ.

"No, no, no, no, no! No! What in hell is wrong with you two?  But you just- You just- Fuck, I don't know what to say!"

"Well, whatever you decide my friend, make sure you start with "Cousin Pete" ok?" He says, before he makes out with Harry again.

"Cousin Pete?" MJ asks herself in disbelief.

"Wait! Wait just a goddamn minute! Wait! What in hell's the matter with you two? You just met! Last night at that too! You don't even know each other!"

"This is how the Eskimos do it, Petey." Harry says, rubbing their noses together.

"I love this." Peter tells him, with their lips ghosting each other.

"Listen, whatever it is, you might think you're feeling, it's just your hormones playing tricks on you!" MJ says loudly.

"The ears now!" Peter says excitedly, and they both rub their ears together.

"Oh! My God!" What the fuck have I done?" MJ asks, irritated with herself.

"Oh, shut your ass up MJ. I think it's romantic. It's like something out of a '40s movie." Gwen finally says. "Strong, handsome, daring, and now he's got a man. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but damn, you did good setting them up MJ. I'm jealous of you!" She jokes towards Peter.

"Look, _Harold_ , you cannot do this! What the fuck do you two have in common anyway?"

"I'll show you what we have in common!" Peter tells her and he proceeds to give Harry a filthy kiss. _'_ _Damn, Peter is a damn good kisser. I wonder what he's like in bed.'_ Harry thinks to himself.

"Ugh!" MJ exclaims. "Eddie, for God's sake, speak up! You said you're "A cute, caring, sassy man, who is a fourth of this family", right? Don't let him run off with the first man, and I do mean the first, that comes along." 

"All right, all right." He says. "Now, listen, señor Zayn Malik. You marched through our front door, a total stranger and asked for my best friend's hand in marriage without telling me two words about yourself."

"Hmm. I see your point. What do you wanna know, Eddie-?"

"Thompson. Do you have any money?"

"Oh My God! Eddie!" Peter says, embarrassed by that question. "Har, I'm so, so sorry." He pleads. "You don't have to answer that at all. Please, don't give him the time of day."

"It's okay, Petey. I understand where he's coming from. He's worried about you." He says, caressing his cheek again before he turns back to look at Eddie. "Quite a bit, Mr. Thompson."

"I see. Your brother, is he still alive?"

"Brother?" Harry laughs. "I'm an only child."

"Well, you have a brother now. Welcome to the family!" He says, hugging Harry senseless and MJ faints.

"MJ! Oh, MJ, get up honey!" Gwen says, leaning down to shake MJ.

"Oh, MJ." Eddie says rolling his eyes. Peter just shakes his head.


	4. Table Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Chat Between MJ, Eddie And Gwen At The Kitchen Table.

**Later That Evening**

 

"Wow," Eddie starts. "It's been a long day." He sighs. "Especially for you, MJ."

"Well, I'm really enjoying this moment, sitting here, just the three of us, having quiet cup of coffee together." Gwen says.

"Me, too, because we don't-" 

"I said coffee!" Gwen snaps, cutting off Eddie. Gwen nods her head, as if she had gotten her revenge from the same encounter that occurred between Eddie and herself. "So, how does it feel?" She taunts.

"Shame. I feel shame." He tells her sarcastically, rolling his eyes in annoyance. _'Thank_ _goodness she doesn't understand sarcasm at all. What a tool.'_  He thinks to himself.

"I can't believe the two of you carrying on when another man is about to steal my destiny. I mean, I always thought it would be me closing out my last years at the Osborn Mansion. Fuck, this totally sucks, big time!"

"Look, if anybody has a right to complain, it's me. When Peter gets married, think about this, he'll be an Osborn. Harry and MJ are already Osborn. Eddie will be a Osborn-in-law, even though he'd never admit to being Peter's second cousin. Everybody will be related but me and that hurts." Gwen says sadly.

"Hey, now that's what I call family planning. I fucking **_love_**  this!" Eddie says happily.

"It's not funny!" Gwen says. "Did anybody ever stop to think how all this makes me feel?" She asks irritably.

"Well, all right, Gwen, how does it make you feel?" MJ asks.

"To be honest, a little bit like Mr. Snuffles."

"The bear that's on the tag of the fabric softeners?" MJ asks, wondering where this is going.

"MJ, would you mind? You're closer to the knife drawer." Eddie says.

"One summer, when I was a little girl, Jackie, our pig, gave birth to a litter of six. And the next day, my father won the annual St. Marty watermelon-seed spitting contest and he brought home a prize piglet.

"Mr. Snuffles." MJ says.

"Exactly." Gwen says, nodding her head in confirmation.

"You're listening?" Eddie asks, without a care in the world for this ridiculous story. MJ nods her head as he simply goes back to drinking his coffee.

"Anyway, I loved Mr. Snuffles. I watched him grow. I suffered with him. The way Jackie's brood made him feel like such an outsider. It was an awful thing to see.

"Hey, trust me when I say this. Hearing it is no walk in the park." Eddie says, earning a glare from MJ.

"Mr. Snuffles never did get over his feeling of alienation. Eventually, he grew fat and despondent. The last report we had on him, he stowed away in a truck to Chicago and tearfully surrendered himself to the Oscar Meyer people. I don't want that to happen to me, Ed. Promise me that won't happen to me." Gwen begs Eddie and MJ.

"We can't promise you that, Gwen." Eddie quips.

"Dammit, I've got to do something. I can't just sit idly back and let this- this wedding take place. Oh, how in the name of Mother Dixie can a broke man named Parker, appreciate the majesty of the Osborn Mansion?" She asks in horror. 

"Sitting on the veranda with his cousin, throwing water balloons at people who get on our damn nerves." Eddie says nonchalantly.

"Oh, really? And what makes you think the newlyweds are gonna welcome you on the premises?" MJ retorts, picking at her nails.

"Hold on. What are you saying?" He freezes.

"Harry may not be as fond of nasty, nutty, hateful, life-scarring nut jobs, as the rest of us are."

"And...your point is?" Eddie wonders.

"Peter and Harry aren't going to want you around."

"Fuck." He says slowly. "There's a fly in the vanilla pudding." The other two nod their heads in agreement.


	5. Changing Dynamic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months Into The Plan (That Should've Ended Months Ago)

**7 Months Later**

 

"Well, Pete, it was very sweet of you to join me tonight." Harry says with a bright smile on his face. "Am I safe in assuming that your first anime expo is also your last?"

"Isn't Yugi Moto the kind of games?"

"Oh, you were actually paying attention." Muses Harry and Peter laughs.

"Look, Harry, no offense, but an anime expo doesn't sound terribly romantic, even if I love them. So when you come by tomorrow, why don't you tell MJ that you took me to a One Direction concert? I know for a fact that she absolutely hates them."

"She hates them, huh? Well, I absolutely love it! Do you think they might buy that afterwards we frolicked in the ocean, the back seat of my car and in MJ's bed since the others were out two nights ago?" 

"Oh, gosh, I haven't frolicked since....Uh, well, since....Since the day my ex-boyfriend dropped his overbearing mother off at this old retirement home called Shady Pines. Coincidentally, that was the last time I did a cartwheel. Like Ice Cube said in his song, _It was a good day_."

"Of course, we could tell them that we went up to lovers' lane or someplace and that we necked." Harry says dreamily, getting lost in Peter's soft, sensitive eyes. 

"Oh, well, then I'd- I'd have to, you know, show off the hickeys you'd give me." He tells Harry with a huge grin on his face, blushing.

"Here, let me start of by giving you a kiss at the perfect spot on your neck." He says, with a seductive look on his face.


	6. A Real Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "Unthinkable" Happens....

**Another 6 Months Later ..**

 

"I've been thinking about your suggestion, Petey. You're absolutely right. The oversized paintings of my father must come down. He didn't give two fucks about me anyway. Thank God my mom loves you. Anyway, the new Osborn Mansion should be filled with art. Our pieces of art that we've done. You know, my paintings of how I think you'd look naked, pictures of my hard, thick, 6 inch-"

"Ugh! Please no more! My virgin ears can't take it!" MJ explains.

"Oh! MJ, I didn't know you were home at all. I haven't seen too much of you this trip. Actually, I haven't seen you a lot since I've been flying back and forth from New York to Miami for over a year, my favorite cousin."

"That's because you've been too busy Yankee Doodlin'!" MJ replies angrily.

"Now Janie, I'm sure you don't mean that." Harry tells her playfully. "You'll feel differently when you come to Times Square for the Ball Drop for New Years when you and Blondie-Gwennie visit the three of us."

"Well, if it ain't the kinky bodies!" Eddie exclaims, waking out of his bedroom.

"Eddie, where the fuck did you get that outfit?" Peter asks Eddie, who's currently wearing a teddy.

"This teddy? Turns out that Liz loves me in virtually anything revealing, so I bought it. Figured five Halloweens, it'll pay for itself." He gloats. "I hope you brought your appetite, you young fellas. I know you're gonna be pleased with the dinner."

"What's for dinner?" Harry asks.

"Well, since we are near Georgia, I figured that we'd eat some southern cooking. I cooked some Corn pone, succotash, collard greens." Eddie said happily. "And those are just the appetizers!"

"Hey, guys." Gwen greets the gang while entering the house. "Sorry to interrupt, everybody, but I have an important announcement to make." She says, looking at Eddie distastefully.

"A mess o' something. I'll cook us up a mess o' something just as soon as I put on some regular clothes." He says in a southern accent, retreating back to his room.

"Anyway, I've be doing a lot of soul searching, and as long as the family isn't gonna be together anymore, it's just not gonna be the same. So I've decided I'm gonna move in with my sister, Anna. I think that's best."

"Leave? You are going to leave?" MJ asks shockingly" Gwen, you can't do that!" She exclaims, and turns towards Peter and Harry. "Well, you see? Do ya? Because of your $1.99 romance, you are destroying the family! You are destroying the family, and I'm gonna be all alone!" MJ says, running from the living room to her bedroom.

"Oh, dear. I'll go make her a cup of tea and calm her down." Gwen says, walking to the kitchen.

"Dammit, MJ." Peter sighs. "I better go talk to her." He says, about to walk towards the hallway.

"Peter, wait." Harry says gently, holding Peter's hand.

"No, this has gone too far." Peter says desperately.

"I realize that, Petey, but you just can't flat out tell her. If she realizes this is a joke-you know how Janie goes." Harry tells Peter softly.

"Ugh, don't I know it." Peter shakes his head. "It'd do more harm than good. It's a pity because I was having fun messing with her for the past year." He says cheekily. "Well, then what do I say?" With a sad smile on his face.

"I think I know something that could work." Harry says quickly. "We could break up right in front of her."

"You mean, just like that?" Peter says half-heartedly.

"Sure. What do you say we do it sometime between the succotash and the mess o' something?" Harry suggests. "We just blow up, and then I storm out of here, and that's that."

"And I stay behind and call off the entire wedding." Peter concurs. "It'd be perfect."

"Uh, Pete, it's uh...it's not going to be easy to fake a fight with you...." Harry says.

"What?" Says a confused Peter.

"Now, Peter, I want you to promise me that you're not gonna laugh, but the past year, has been the lightest and the brightest that I've known since I got back in the dating game." He says cupping Peter's cheek. "And I just want to thank you." He smiles. 

"Well, I'm-- I'm glad." Peter replies leaning into Harry's touch. "But, to tell you the truth, I didn't even notice." He laughs softly. "I mean, it didn't hit me till now, that I've been I've been so busy smiling myself. I'm just-- I'm glad, too." He says, also cupping Harry's cheek, losing himself in Harry's eyes.

"Strange, isn't it, Petey? It just seems like we've known each other for a lot more than a year." Peter nods his head in agreement before giving Harry a hug. They don't realize that MJ has over heard everything that they've said.

"Cocktails!" Eddie and Gwen announce, while Eddie ringing a triangle.

"Oh, how classy. A tribute to Hop Sing." Peter says sarcastically. "Why the hell are you dressed up as a cowboy?"

"Because we're eating southern food, I thought I'd be crass and wear the cowboy attire. Plus, I wore this outfit when Liz and I were doing our 'sexy, role play, sessions and I love it."

"Here you go, Eddie." Gwen says handing him a Piña Colada.

"Gwen, before you pass these out, darling, I want to say something to these two." MJ starts.

"Oh, MJ, don't say anything you're gonna regret."

"I agree with Gwendolyn here." Eddie says.

"Leave me alone. I know what I'm doing." MJ replies before she turns to look at Harry and Peter. "Would you two please sit down?"

"Um..." Peter starts.

"Let's here what Janie has to tell us, Petey."

"Ok. Sure. Go ahead MJ." He says, while he and Harry sit on the couch.

"A terrible mistake has been made here, and I'm the one who made it. See, I thought you all would go out once, and--and eat a boring dinner, and tell each other a couple of boring stories, and then get back to your boring lives. No harm done at all. But somehow, some way, you seem to have taken a liking to each other. You believe you were meant to be together. Well, let me tell you what I see." MJ says while picking up a drink of her own. "I see--I see a miracle. I see two people who've been afraid to reach out, afraid to take that first step towards real feelings. Two people gazing into each other's eyes and--and sharing each other's concerns, caring about each other's happiness." Her voice cracks. "I see two people in love. Here I was, trying to drive a wedge between the two of you because I didn't want to be left alone, but I'm ashamed of that now. So I'm not going to oppose this union. I'm gonna celebrate it. I'm gonna lift a glass to it." She continues, raising her glass. "I'm gonna ask God to bless it. Harry, Peter, from the bottom of my heart, congratulations. Take care of each other. I love you both." She tells them, while Harry and Peter look at each other.

"Uh, Janie, there is something I must say." Harry says, while Peter nods his head in agreement. What he didn't expect were the next words coming out of Harry's mouth.

"Peter."

"Yes, Harry?" He responds, turning towards Harry.

"Peter, will you marry me for real? He asks Peter. Peter's mouth drop and his grow wider in shock.

"For real? Like, for real, for real?" He says dumbfounded, after a minute of letting that question sink in.

"Like, for real." Harry reassures him.

"Oh, yes, Har-bear." He says, tears flowing down his cheeks. "Oh, yes, oh, yes." He says, kissing Harry.

"Can I ask a dumb question?" Gwen asks.

"Better than anyone I know." Eddie responds absentmindedly, confused at the current situation.

"Is it me or did they do this already?" Gwen asks. Even MJ is confused at what took place. 


End file.
